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People Pleasing And Its Discontents

Tom C
1 min readAug 10, 2022

​​If you’re a card-carrying member of the people pleasers club, you can do one of two things:

You can continue living your life in denial or do something about it.

I strongly advise the latter.

Living life putting yourself down so other people can feel good is no life at all.

Avoiding conflict so that people will like you is an awful strategy. But that’s what we do. We spend our whole lives saying yes when we want to say no.

Why do we do it?

Fear. Fear that we will be shown that the deepest idea we hold about ourselves — that we are fundamentally unworthy — is true. That if we say no to anything we will be rejected and cast away.

This is the truth of it. The less secure you are in your core. The more likely you are to be grotesquely agreeable.

Tom C