I was supposed to be meeting friend today. A friend who is dear to me but has neediness issues. I was not in the mood. All I wanted, needed, was to have a day to myself.
A day to visit bookshops and read in bed with no plan or agenda.
So I cancelled the meeting. It didn’t go well. It left me feeling guilty and co-dependent.
I felt it. I felt my super ego attacking me for being a let down. For not caring about others and putting my needs first.
It’s a physical feeling in my chest.
But I sat with it. It passed. I told myself that today I’m putting my needs first.
This goes against all of my conditioning. My upbringing.
But I did it. It was the right thing to do.
I can do it again.