It is all in your head

Tom C
3 min readSep 17, 2021

What you are is only a thought.

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

Did you know that nobody can make you feel anything. It is your thinking that makes you feel.

When someone does something that creates a negative internal response it is not a direct link between their actions and your feelings. There is one key component missing. Your own thinking.

Some one says or does something to you — whatever you think about that causes you have to a feeling. An emotional response. Whether it is good or bad is based on your own internal constructs.

Someone could do the same thing to a thousand people and get hundreds of different responses.

Most of our Ill thinking and faulty emotional responses come from expecting the world to behave the way we want it to. Demanding that it does.

When you see someone in the street that doesn’t conform to your standards you may think he or she shouldn’t act like that and negatively judge them. This is your own thinking disturbing you once again. Your own demands. If you didn’t have them you wouldn’t even notice them.

There seems to be a direct correlation between people who have demands on others having demands on themselves.

The way people tell others what they should and shouldn’t do is a direct link to their internal narratives.

Imagine if tomorrow you lost all of your hair. Or your bank account was drained due to a surpirse tax bill. It would affect you right? But it would not affect everyone the same way. Because not everyone thinks the same. There are people who would have a meltdown and there are people who would shrug it off and go for a coffee.

Imagine if you could change your thinking so that nothing really disturbed you. I wonder if that is even possible.

I don’t know.

But I do know when I start feeling angry, sad or hopeless I can step back and see that it is my thinking that is causing this and I can change that. I am beggining to observe myslef from a distance and see what my thinking is doing to me. This is becoming enough to cause a slight circuit break before I get enmeshed and ‘become’ that feeling.

A way to observe your thoughts is to regulalry ask yourself am I awake? This makes you aware of yourself. Right here and now. When you are aware try and remember exactly where you were in your head. You will start to get an idea of the robot like process most of our thinking truly is.

You can stand over and watch. Think a meta approach. See yourself having thoughts and getting angry sad etc. Like you are looking at someone from above. Like they do in Casinos.

This may sound woo but your mind whirrs constantly. It is pretty much responsible for all of your feelings. If you can change your thoughts you can change a lot.

Worth looking into.